Day 1

OK, I'm really brave; I gave myself the shot this morning. Yep, I did it! Took me awhile to get courage though. Kind of touched my leg with the needle and felt the little poke and thought "nope, can't do this; I'll get Jenn to do it for me" then I decided I should at least try. Seriously, did not hurt though, haha, probably too much fat there. Just that little prick at the skin; a pinch would have hurt much worse. So I can do this part of it, no problem!

Now we're supposed to "load" this weekend. This will be harder mentally than the 500 calorie diet later. I've spent years keeping myself from eating those kinds of food too much; obviously, I'm not thin so I'm not great at self control but still... I don't buy a LOT of foods because I know if it's in the house I'll eat it. And I don't have anyone in the house that would eat sweets if I brought them in. Tim will eat certain things, a little bit only though. So when I was at Costco, I was looking at some of those goodies that I never buy unless we're having a big gathering of some sort, then I can try a piece and everyone else can eat the rest. Still couldn't buy any of them and think of eating more than one piece. So I'll go shopping with Hans today and get him to help pick out some high calorie goodies for tomorrow after church.

Hans got up and offered to make me a huge breakfast of whatever I wanted: stacks of pancakes, bacon, eggs, hashbrowns, whatever. It sounded so awful. I had my usual bowl of Quaker oat squares or whatever those are called. But I did fill my bowl, haha! And I drank a glass of OJ which I usually don't do; I almost never drink anything with calories except OJ with our big breakfast on sunday. You'd think I'd be thin with all the worrying I do about foods, haha!

I'm thinking Krispy Kreme might be on our agenda today. If I need calories, that's one of the best places to find them!

WEIGHT - I'm actually pretty water logged right now for some reason. Definitely retaining water. Gained 4 lbs yesterday from the day before; I had started weighing last monday just for reference and had pretty much been the same each day, then that gain. We had bought some doughnuts in Kaysville (mmmm, the absolutely best double blueberry doughnuts ever!) and then Jenn brought over some doughnuts from Macy's and I nibbled here and there on those too. So maybe all those carbs? But I can feel the tightness in my fingers, etc so I know it's a water problem. Down 1 lb today though, even though I ate blueberry muffins from Costco last night with Hans' primary class that was here for dinner. Probably would be down the whole 4 lbs if I hadn't eat them. Shoud have saved them for today and tomorrow!

In any case, starting weight is to be determined today, but I want to keep in mind that I feel like I am actually 3 lbs over my "actual" starting weight because of retention.

You have to weigh yourself every morning and keep track. You can gain weight during these first two "load" days (duh!) which seems so WRONG to me, but OK, I said I'd do it and I will.